Thursday, April 8, 2010

Tears and Boxes....


So a few more days have come and gone... and so has Adrian... he's on a bus going back to New Orleans... I have no idea when we will see him again.  I have cried so many tears you would think there would be no more to cry... they just still seem to keep coming.

Steffie and I will be here alone.... packing up the rest of our belongings... not knowing where we will even put them.  By the end of the month we will need to be out of here because things didn't go quite the way we had planned.... not sure where we will go... but at least we now have the van... if I can't get some help from DFCS to find a place for us at least we can sleep in the van on an air mattress.... and at least we'll have nice weather for it...

I feel so alone... and I feel so hurt... I'm not sure if I'll ever feel secure again.... in such a short time going from a home and a regular income to no home and not knowing where we will live... how we will live... I never wanted this kind of life for my child... but then what mother does... it's certainly different from the cute lil house and happy home I had pictured raising her in....

Steffie cried all the way home from the bus station.... she said she doesn't know if she'll ever see her Daddy again.... my heart was broken... she loves him sooo much.... he is her favorite person in the whole world.... now our world is shattered... and we have to find a way to pick up the pieces and build a new one somehow.

I'm just so sad and alone.... no shoulder to cry on... no one to give me comfort... just a lot of tears... and a lot of boxes...


~LaShan~

8 comments:

jenn said...

I wish there was something I could do for you other than sending virtual hugs....

Pblacksaw said...

I have felt alone many times.. I have packed and cried too.. I am just like Jenn wishing that I could do more than just hope and pray for good things for you..
I have a tray of candles burning for you now.. all different colors for different things.. forget the packing for tonight and cuddle up with Steph and let the tears flow..
Tomorrow is soon ebnough to pack again..
Patsy

Ace said...

I never intended for things to go this way. I'm deeply sorry for the pain all of this has caused...and I will find a way to reunite us all very soon. I owe you that much.

gayle said...

I feel so bad for your pain!! This hits home in away...My dad wanted to move from CA to NC and we did. I was 12, my brother was 6. We were all very upset. My mom went with him because that is what he wanted. He told me years later that it was one of the biggest mistakes of his life. I hope I have not offended you or your husband but I have been thinking a lot about you lately. If you feel it is best for you and your daughter to stay in the area you are in now..please try to talk to your husband. Good luck!!

Becki said...

So sad for you :( Hope something works out better than you can expect soon!

Chatty Crone said...

I am confused - I thought you were moving to New Orleans? I'm so sorry things are as bad as all that. You have no where to stay? Not even at your mom's? Sandie♥

Jen said...

Oh, I hope you do not end up sleeping in your van. I was in a shelter with my daughter for a very short time. It was awful. Do you have a friend you can stay with for a little while?

Please update us and let us know what happens.

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