Sunday, April 18, 2010



It's been over a week.... and I guess you noticed that the other blog is gone....... here's what happened....

Adrian took the bus to New Orleans on Thursday night... he arrived early the next morning.... tried to sleep and couldn't... called me later to say that he was getting back on the bus and coming back home... and that is what he did.... he got back home on Saturday morning..... and he deleted the other blog without even telling me he was going to do it.   So he's been aggressively searching for a job in the last week and has had 2 interviews... but so far no job.  He can't get unemployment because he worked that week and a half in New Orleans and then quit.   So we have absolutely no income... and no savings to fall back on.... each day that goes by sinks us deeper and deeper into financial disaster.

We have about a month left in this house before we have to be out... but we can't even look for a place to go until he gets a job.   Sometime in the first few days of may... which is approaching fast... our electricity will be cut off because we won't have the $300 to pay the bill.  We are also running out of money to pay our Chapter 13 payments and unless they are made our only vehicle will be taken away and without it he will have no way to look for work or get to work once he gets a job... so... as you can see we desparately need for him to get a job and fast.  It will of course take 2 -3 weeks to get a paycheck once he gets a job... so things are not good...

Tomorrow I am applying for food stamps but I'm not sure we can even get them since he quite his job in New Orleans to come back home.... so we may be on the street soon without even our van to sleep in... and no food either.... we'll see.... I'm also going to start applying for jobs myself... one of us has to bring in some money somehow!

I'm still hoping that something great will happen soon... ei he gets a great job!  Something really just has to happen.... right????  I try sooo hard to get through each day without thinking about it as much as possible or I just get worried and stressed and cry and can't sleep... the less I think about it the easier it is to deal with....

Yesterday we celebrated my Grandson's 3rd birthday.... we had fun at his party and it was good to spend time with all 3 of my Grandbabies.  But last night Adrian and Steffie were making popcorn... you know how she loves to help cook!.... he had just turned off the burner on the stove and she was trying to get out of the chair she was standing in in front of the counter beside the stove.... she started to slip and reached out to brace herself and her hand landed on the stove burner instead of the counter... she has 2nd degree burns on all of her finger tips and the top of her palm on her right hand.  We rushed her to the ER and they gave her cream and meds for the pain and infection... she will be fine... it will just take time to heal... and my heart breaks that she had to feel that much pain.   She slept soundly last night and woke up with just a lil pain this morning... but is feeling great now after getting her meds again and she doesn't seem to traumatized by it... she's playing and happy as usual :)

Of course the financial side to that is... that her medicaid was messed up... again.. and we had to pay $70 out of our slowly dwindling pocket for her meds.... but she had to have it.... so that's what we did.  If they can get it straightened out within 7 days I can get the money back... which we really need right now... so let's keep hoping on that one too.  And even more so let's hope for her lil hand to heal up quickly and with no scars or damage to the sensation in her fingers!!! 

~LaShan~

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Tears and Boxes....


So a few more days have come and gone... and so has Adrian... he's on a bus going back to New Orleans... I have no idea when we will see him again.  I have cried so many tears you would think there would be no more to cry... they just still seem to keep coming.

Steffie and I will be here alone.... packing up the rest of our belongings... not knowing where we will even put them.  By the end of the month we will need to be out of here because things didn't go quite the way we had planned.... not sure where we will go... but at least we now have the van... if I can't get some help from DFCS to find a place for us at least we can sleep in the van on an air mattress.... and at least we'll have nice weather for it...

I feel so alone... and I feel so hurt... I'm not sure if I'll ever feel secure again.... in such a short time going from a home and a regular income to no home and not knowing where we will live... how we will live... I never wanted this kind of life for my child... but then what mother does... it's certainly different from the cute lil house and happy home I had pictured raising her in....

Steffie cried all the way home from the bus station.... she said she doesn't know if she'll ever see her Daddy again.... my heart was broken... she loves him sooo much.... he is her favorite person in the whole world.... now our world is shattered... and we have to find a way to pick up the pieces and build a new one somehow.

I'm just so sad and alone.... no shoulder to cry on... no one to give me comfort... just a lot of tears... and a lot of boxes...


~LaShan~

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Airing It Out....


It's been a pretty uneventful week and and a half.... Adrian has been working in New Orleans and Steffie and I have been here at home.... packing... and just being...

We have no vehicle because Adrian drove our only one to New Orleans...  so we've just been here at home with the exception of the one day my Mom took us to pick up a few items that we needed.  I would have loved to hit our favorite thrift store today... first Saturday of the month is half price day!.... and Steffie could really use some summer clothes... most of what I had saved over from last year is just too small... but maybe I can pay them a visit this week.

I've run through I think every emotion I can possibly feel about our situation and our pending move.... from anger... hurt... sadness... frustration... and at this point I'm just trying not to care one way or the other... just get through each day doing what needs to be done and trying not to think too much beyond the day at hand.  Thinking just makes things worse... so why do it... right???

Adrian will be home either tomorrow evening or Monday... not sure when he's going to start the drive back yet... and then we have a few days to figure out what to do from here.... until then I'm going to take Steffie to hunt eggs at my sister's house tomorrow with her kids... and just pretend that my whole world is hunky doory for one more day.... after that we'll see...

Thank you all for your well wishes and understanding comments... they sure do help :)

I'm so glad that spring is finally here :).... I'm loving having my windows open and feeling the nice breeze blowing in.... letting the house air out from the winter staleness... now if I could find a place to live where the temp is in the high 60's to low 70's about 80% of the time.... that would be the place I would want to live! That's my kind of weather !

A Lil Enchanted,

~LaShan~