Friday Frustrations

I am sooo frustrated that my 4 year old... who used to be a sweet lil girl who was cooperative and loved to learn and who pretty much obeyed when I told her to do something or not to do something... has become very stubborn and downright oppositional and has no interest in paying attention when I try to teach her anything. I tell her not to do something and she just flat out does it anyway... with me standing right there watching her and telling her she had better not and why. Or if I tell her to do something she just does not do it and then lies and says she did.

You know I have 3 grown children... and they were very difficult. They were all 3 born within 1 year... Sarah was 11 months old when the boys were born.... and they were all ADHD and Sarah is Bipolar as well. They were by no means whatsoever easy children to raise. For several years... their preteen and teen years... it was pretty scary around here... I was afraid they would kill each other or even me... seriously. I had to hide anything that could be used as a weapon... my kitchen knives were hidden in my bedroom closet... ball bats... golf clubs... any thing that could do serious damage was hidden. You should see the holes they put in my walls. Thankfully we all survived and I'm happy to say that they have all matured a lot and I no longer worry about the damage they might do to others.

When I got pregnant with Steffie I thought 'If I can survive that... this one should be a breeze... one child as opposed to 3... different genetics so no ADHD... plus the lessons I learned while parenting them.... right??? Well things aren't looking so great. I'm wondering if maybe Steffie is ADHD as well.... the child bounces off the walls all day... never stops talking... and has become pretty rude and demanding... and her attention span was longer when she was 2! I really wanted to homeschool her... I don't want her exposed to all of the bad attitudes and risky behaviour that goes on in public school... I don't want to wonder if my child is safe from violence and drugs and sexual behaviour everyday. I don't want to deal with the people who run our public school system and all of their judgemental attitudes and worrying about things that have nothing to do with whether my child is getting educated or not... like whether her shirt is tucked in... or has a collar on it... or what color her hair is... or how many piercings she might have (someday)..... or saying she has to go to school when she's sick because she can't miss too many days or their funding gets cut... or those pain in the ass fundraisers that kids have to do... and the hours and hours of homework she'll have to do after sitting in class all day already. I want better for her!

I want her to learn at her own pace in a way that is best for her learning style... I want her to be free to express herself in her appearance however she wants... I want her to feel safe and loved... and not have to worry about bullies... or doing what everyone else is doing just to be popular. I just want so much better for her as she grows up.

But now I'm questioning my own ability to teach her... she just refuses to pay attention when I try to teach her anything.... I know she's young... but she's 4... she's old enough to start learning to read and write.... she just will not sit still and listen even for a short time. She has known her alphabet since she was 2... and I mean really known it... not just singing the song... she knew each letter and a word that began with each one... she knows the phonics already... she can count to 100 with very little help... she knew her colors when she was 1... she can use the mouse and surf the web like no other 4 year old I've ever seen. But she refuses to write a B... just won't do it.... and it was she who asked to do her B writing lesson. It feels like she's toying with me... trying in any and every way to get under my skin. Aren't kids supposed to want to please their parents at this age? Don't the "I hate you"s come much later??? She told me the other day that she hates me... where did she learn that??? I know she doesn't hate me... but sometimes it sure feels like she's trying in every way possible to be downright mean to me. And then all of a sudden she's hugging me again and telling me she loves me and that I'm the best Mommy ever. She goes from downright brat to sweet as pie in a split second.

Am I expecting too much? Can I homeschool this child and still keep my sanity? Will her defiance get better as she turns 5? Will I cave and send her to school next year? I dunno...

A Lil Enchanted,
~LaShan~

Steffie's Raggs Rockin' Kids Audition

Have you heard of this new PBS show aimed at preschoolers? We don't get it in our area yet but hopefully we will soon.... I think Steffie will love it. She loves anything musical... so I'm watching for it to come to our PBS stations.

Awhile back someone posted on their blog about auditions to be on this show. I've been meaning to send in a video of Steffie for a couple of weeks but I've been so busy I forgot about it. Fortunately I suddenly remembered today... and got her video audition sent in with about 9 hours to spare before the cut-off time! You can find out more about the show and send in your own child's audition video here http://www.raggscontest.com/rrks-countdown.php

We made her audition video a couple of weeks ago... she is just sooo cute... I hope she gets on this show... I think she'll have fun with it. She is a lil chatterbox... and her curly hair is natural... we call her "Curley Temple" and "Curley Top" ... and yes she likes Shirley Temple "because she has curley hair like me" is what she says...

Here is the clip I sent in for audition : )... I hope they don't mind the Dora content.... I just thought it was soooo cute and totally natural Steffie doing her own thing.



~A Lil Enchanted~

Lil Miss Mess....

That's what my lil one has become. At 3 1/2 she has decided to be the messiest eater in town. Today alone she smeared cheese into my couch cushion and poured her milk and juice onto it as well. How stinky and sticky is that going to be???!!! I washed it off the best I could with dish detergent and a touch of bleach.... but it's going to need a good cleaning. We were planning to rent a carpet cleaner this weekend anyway so I guess the furniture will get cleaned as well. Our bissell cleaner does an okay job but the carpet really needs a thorough cleaning that is beyond the capability of the Bissell cleaner.

Now Lil Miss Mess will again be strapped into the booster seat when she eats and drinks. We had begun to let her sit in a regular chair like a big girl because she can now comfortably eat from one. And when she has a snack we were letting her eat it on the couch while she watches her favorite shows. But after weeks of progressively bigger messes she will not be allowed to eat or drink anything but water without being in the kitchen in her baby booster seat. I explained this to her... and told her that when she can eat like a big girl and not make a mess.... she can sit in a big girl chair again. So what does she do???? She crumbles her boiled eggs all over the counter and her clothes.... then pours her drink on top of the mess. At least *this* time it was in the kitchen on the counter (breakfast bar).

How in the world did 2 year olds get labeled with the "Terrible Two's"??? Three's are much much worse! Two year olds are still sweet and want to make Mommy and Daddy happy and proud.... they want to be a big girl/boy and do what big kids and grown ups do. But not 3 year olds! They are stubborn and defiant.... do exactly what you tell them not to do... refuse to do what you tell them to do.... talk back.... and smart mouth.... push every button you ever had.... and then find buttons you never knew you had. Where oh where did my sweet lil helper go.... where oh where can she be....

I think 3's are like a prelude to the tween years.... maybe that's why I told my older kids at that age that they were acting like a 3 year old. I sooo dread dealing with that stage again! But I'm soooo looking forward to getting past the Terrible Terrible Terrible 3's!

~A Lil Enchanted~