Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Great Escape.... More About My Time In Massachusetts

When I left Georgia to move to Massachusetts it was pretty scary for me... I'm southern girl and had only been out of the south on a couple of vacation trips when I was small... once to NYC when I was about 2 years old that I don't remember at all but I've seen pictures... and once to Indianapolis when I was about 7... it was a trip to visit my stepdad's friend and we were at their house the whole time so no real vacation fun... I just remember playing with their kids and the loooong drive. I'm not the type to take huge risks... I like to play things pretty safely... so packing up everything I owned and my 3 kids and moving up north to make a new life for us and possibly be with someone whom I had never met in person was very unlike me... but it felt so right that I had to do it... I couldn't not do it... every part of my being was pushing me to just go.

The other thing was that I could only tell a very few people what my plan was... Adrian knew of course... and my Mom and my sisters and my best friend from online Cyn.... I couldn't tell anyone else... not even my kids... because if their father found out he would try to kill me... he had already cut my phone lines in the middle of the night 3 times.... and he had told me repeatedly over the years... and even in front of my kids... that if I ever tried to leave him he would cut my head off. So yes I was terrified... and thrilled to be going as far away from him as possible. I still feel bad that I couldn't tell my kids and let them say goodbye to their friends and family.... but it was necessary for my safety to keep it from them.

I got an apartment in Mass and a job as an assistant manager at Fashion Bug.... I hadn't worked in 8 years since my boys were born... we received help and counseling from a Women's Services agency... and Adrian was just wonderful as our relationship grew in the following 18 months in Mass. All was good until someone called DSS on us.... they were accusing me of neglect because I was under court order to send my kids to visit their father... if I didn't send them for the court ordered visit I would be arrested... and if I did send them DSS would take them from me and put them in foster care... along with other things that they put my family through.... I was between a rock and a hard place so to speak. I knew my kids would be safe because their father was living with his parents and they would not let him hurt them. And soooo my second escape from abuse... this time from DSS.... was planned.

So when summer came I put my kids on a plane to Georgia for the last time... and I felt such huge relief that they were safe from DSS... I no longer had to worry about them showing up to take my kids every time someone knocked on my door. And it was very strange to actually be relieved that I was sending them to be with their father. But I knew they were more safe with him than they were in Mass. We loaded up all of our belongings onto a truck for the second time and headed back to Georgia a month later... we had to get everything in order financially before we could leave. I was never so happy to be back home in the south and to see the mountains that surrounded me all of my life... I never knew I would miss looking up and seeing those mountains. It was so good to see my family again.... we were home... and we were all safe. And so we have been back in Georgia for 10 years now. Our life has never really been easy... but we have made the best of it.... we have survived! Adrian has been a wonderful husband to me and an amazing role model and parent for my kids. We have gone back to Mass to visit a couple of times... Adrian's family is there..... and I love to go to Salem. But I don't think I'll ever move back up there. And that is my story... the short version... even though it was pretty long.

Thank you all for your wonderful comments and Anniversary wishes.... and I'm glad you liked the pics of my family :)

A Lil Enchanted,
~LaShan~

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7 comments:

StaceyC4 said...

Wow...I cannot even imagine getting through and surviving something like that. You are a brave and amazing woman.

Oh, and I used to work for Fashion bug too!! I don't miss the retail hours, though.

gayle said...

That does sound scary,,,you are very brave..glad you have a happy ending!!

Chatty Crone said...

What a wild and interesting story. I'm glad your husband decided to leave you alone and let you live. Gosh. And this is a story with a happy ending. :)

PJ said...

yea for a happy ending! i can relate to this story a lot. although my kids father didn't make any attempt to have them, the abuse before i left for good was there. for many years after i worked on bringing my self esteem back up, and still to this day i have flash backs. anyway...

i am very happy that you have a good life now with adrian. we all deserve happiness.

hugz!

jenn said...

You are a very strong and brave woman to do what you did for your family. I'm so happy that you found happiness, because it sounds to me like you deserve it.

Frugal Vicki said...

WOW! And what a story that is, too. You are amazing. You are so strong...and the fact you think ahead for your children says SO much. Thank you for the story. You deserve every happiness you find and more.

Julie@Momspective said...

What an amazing story! You're such a wonderful woman!