Saturday, September 12, 2009

My Answer

It is a hard question to answer because you can't really know what your first gut reaction will be... what your first thought will be.... unless you are put into the situation of being told.... and believe that it is true..... that you only have a certain amount of time left to live.

Now let me tell you why I asked the question. My son showed me a web site that answers questions... any question.... he typed in the questions and it gave the answers... of course I was very suspicious... but I couldn't figure out how it was answering every single question with perfect accuracy. But the more questions we asked the more amazed I was at the accuracy of the answers... some were even really funny. Then my son said "do you want to know when and how you are going to die?".... I said NO... but he typed in the question anyway.... and it said "in 3 years from cancer". Now after answering every single question accurately to this point of course I had some smidgeon of belief that this might actually be true.... wouldn't you if every other answer had been spot on??? Of course I'm still trying to figure out how it was answering my questions accurately! Anyway when it said that.... my heart completely dropped.. as did my mouth... I was frozen in fear and shock.... my first thought was of Steffie.... she would not have a Mother to teach her things a Mother teaches a daughter.... all of the things that I want to teach her as she grows up.... then sadness for myself that I would never know what she would grow up to be... all the times in her life that I would miss.... nothing else truely mattered to me at that moment... nothing except the time and the moments that I would not have with my baby girl and how I could possibly change it to have more time with her.

Thank goodness the whole thing was a trick! He finally came clean and showed me how it worked.... but how could I not have a tiny bit of belief after it answered over 20 questions with complete accuracy??? I was still shaking from the thought of it even an hour after he told me it was a crock. It really made me think about what is important.... and how I spend my time...

So now I know what my reaction would be.... what my first thought would be.... what I would feel.... what is the most important thing in the world to me..... It's a horrible feeling thinking you might only have 3 years left to live. I hope none of you ever have to experience that paralyzing and devastating moment. But now I ask myself throughout the day "what if it had been real... what would I be doing right now instead of what I am doing?"

Of course we can't live every day like it is our last... no one would ever go to work... I know I certainly wouldn't want to spend my last day alive working or doing laundry.... but I hope I never forget to stop and ask myself occasionally "what if I have only this much time left?.... what would I be doing differently?"

A Lil Enchanted,


Grampy said...

Wonderful post as usual. Sorry you were a little shook up about the forecast. It does bring you a little down to earth. You have to just stop and smell the roses every once in awhile. That is why I decided to retire at 62. I want to enjoy my life. What a feeling not having to get up everyday and go to work.
Well have a sparkling weekend.

KAT said...

Wow, you really shocked me with this one!!

I see those tests on facebook where people do that....check to see when and how they are going to die, and I have no desire to learn my fate. I am actually scared.

So, I can imagine what you went through when your son was showing you that, I feel for you and send you a big HUG! That was really mean of him to that, but then again, it has made you appreciate what is important in your life...
So is it really a blessing in disguise???

Take care,

Wendy Hawksley said...

Oh wow. Yeah, that would get anybody, I think. It is interesting how that one little "trick" of a website brought you into a place of pondering something so deep.

Odd things can sometimes trigger our worst fears, concerns, or deepest musings.

PJ said...

omg, not cool. i can just imagine what you were going through! i don't even know what else to say to this.

much love to you my friend...hugz!

A Lil Enchanted said...

Oh believe me I've whacked him upside the head several times for doing that to me!lol

But it really did make me think... and put what's important into perspective... and God what a relief when he told me the truth!lol

I've been a lot more patient with Steffie... and a lot quicker to put down what I'm doing to spend time with her instead of asking her to wait a few minutes and little things like that.

But I still think I will continue to whack Jordan upside the head everyday for awhile for doing that to his mom... heehee

A Lil Enchanted,

Maria@Conversations with Moms said...

That would definitely be a question I would not not want to know the answer to. I would have been shocked too. It does put things into perspective though.

PJ said...

hehehe, whack him just once for me too, will ya. hugz!

StaceyC4 said...

Wow! Give him another WHACK from me!! I mean, I guess it's good to stop and think about these things once in a while but boy, oh boy, what a scare!

kAyE said...

insightful closing. i've been less hurried going through life ever since i gave birth to my daughter. i know i won't forever be on her side, so i stop once in a while from the frenzied hurly burly of everyday life to just appreciate her.

and you are so right. we just CAN'T live each day as if it was our last. it just won't work.

btw, thanks for dropping by my site to comment! i really appreciate it!

Allen Davis said...

Oh my what a crazy trick to play. Of course, things like this do make us think about our future.

bingkee said...

Don't be shaken about anything that is not there. But it sounds creepy , right when that thing answered everything accurately. But then, don't fear though fear is inevitable.
Just like you, I would live everyday as if it were my last. But for me that does not mean, living a life of temporal high.For me, it means , forgiving others, expressing love to people we forget or even ignore, etc.
Have a blessed week!

czaroma said...

I would be shock too if I received such forecast! But of course, it would lead me to appreciating my life even more and make every the best day!

have a good week ahead :)

I hope you have time to check out and grab the award I have shared with you: